Many Adoptees spend years on birth family search before realizing that DNA testing is the only guaranteed way of finding blood relatives.
Above: Our AI generated image showing the many paths of birth family search. DNA Testing is the only guaranteed pathway for finding any blood relatives.
I’ve darkly joked many times that there should be a board game showing all the ways in which birth family search is designed so that Korean Adoptees fail.
Yet the irony is that the one reliable path to finding blood relatives — DNA testing — is frequently overlooked, even by Adoptees who have been searching through other channels for YEARS without success.
DNA testing is a long game. Many Adoptees take DNA tests hoping they will immediately find birth parents or close Korean relatives, but this is not how this works for most Adoptees. Still, I think that it is SO important for Adoptees who have serious interest in birth family search to take ALL possible DNA tests.
What many Korean Adoptees do not realize is that all of the DNA tests have siloed (separate) databases. Let’s say you are my cousin, and you have only taken 23 and Me, and I have only taken MyHeritage — we will NOT match because 23 and Me and MyHeritage are SEPARATE DNA testing companies with separate DNA databases.
The exception would be if both you and I had ALSO uploaded our raw data to GEDMatch — then GEDMatch would match us, despite our having different DNA tests. But this would not work unless BOTH parties have uploaded their raw data to GEDMatch.
Oftentimes I find that European Korean Adoptees ONLY take MyHeritage. This is because MyHeritage is a test which is heavily marketed in Europe. On the other hand, American Korean Adoptees often only take 23 and Me or Ancestry, since these tests are heavily marketed in the US. Since European and US Adoptees tend to take different DNA tests, this means that there are likely thousands of separated siblings who have yet to match through DNA testing.
The thing to realize is that oftentimes Korean Adoption Agencies split up biological siblings, and sometimes siblings ended up being adopted to different countries and continents. This is why it is SO important for Korean Adoptees to take ALL possible DNA tests!
Please be sure to read our DNA Testing page:
DNA Testing
If transferring raw data is too intimidating for you, if possible, just outright buy all of the major DNA tests: 23 and Me, Ancestry, MyHeritage, and FTDNA (Family Tree DNA — the test which is distributed by the Korean Adoptee led organization 325Kamra).
Also please note that because 325Kamra is a small volunteer organization, sometimes things fall through the cracks. If you cannot obtain a free FTDNA test through them, there are ALWAYS sales going on for all of the major DNA tests — particularly around major holidays!
In my experience, Korean Adoptees would rather spend thousands of dollars on expensive trips to Korea to run around chasing what I call “The Paper Trail of Tears” — the scraps of often falsified information which we have in our Korean adoption files. I am not saying that Adoptees should not pursue the paper trail — particularly given that everyone’s case is different, and that not everyone’s information is falsified. However, I have ALWAYS advocated a multi-prong approach. A major prong is DNA testing.
Often Korean Adoptees go through what I jokingly refer to as “The Stations of the Cross” when they come out of the “Adoptee Fog”. The stations include:
-Blaming the Korean government for selling us
-Wanting to obtain restorative justice and seeking to sue someone (before realizing after years of wasted mental energy that suing people is NOT really a thing in Korea)
-Chasing down “The Paper Trail of Tears” in Korea, spending thousands of dollars in the process
-Taking just ONE DNA test, if any
-Never taking the Korean Police DNA test (KNPA) test at a Korean Police Station in Korea or through a Korean Consulate / Embassy in a Western country
-Finally after years of time, realizing that it would have been a good idea to take ALL possible DNA tests
DNA testing is a long game requiring a lot of patience, potentially over years of time. For many Korean Adoptees without real background information available to them, DNA testing may be the ONLY means of finding any blood relatives.
I have long said that many of us Adoptees are unfortunately going to have to manage our expectations. Finding a 2nd or 3rd or 4th cousin may be as close as some of us ever get to finding birth family. I personally believe it is a matter of perspective. Without DNA testing, for many Adoptees there is zero hope of finding any blood relatives. But for those with an open heart and mind, it can be amazing to connect with even distant cousins — I can say this from personal experience.
To catch fish, as Adoptees we have to sink many hooks into the water. Taking just ONE DNA test is the same as sinking just ONE hook into the water — less hooks = less fish.
Pro-tip: Do NOT include information about being an Adoptee on your DNA profile pages. Do NOT initially mention that you are an Adoptee when you first reach out to DNA matches — this can scare them off! Try to build a bit of a relationship with any DNA matches before telling them you are an Adoptee. Not everyone will respond to you, and not everyone will be open to communication, but the only thing you can do is to try your best.
Good luck out there!
Please be sure to read our DNA Testing page:
DNA Testing